When I was 16 I was driving my Mazda Protege out of a cul-de-sac where my friend lived, and was about to turn onto the main neighborhood street. For some reason there wasn’t a stop sign there (probably because it was logical to stop), and I had a vapid lapse and thought, “Oh, I can just turn onto this street without stopping”. Then a car came whizzing by and I snapped out of my dumb trance. This is how I feel about the idea of “living my life” at this point. There are times I think, “could it be as easy as just moving forward without fear?”, but then the big car that is work wakes me up. The alarm rings, the man calls and I’m out the door.
What’s more frustrating is that this project has me sitting at work with Walt Whitman in my head saying “reject anything that insults your soul” as my boss asks me to do a project in half the time needed to successfully do it, etc. Surely it’s easier for a writer to discuss staying true to yourself. I guess unless what you have to say as your “true self” doesn’t sell to the mass media.
Today I finished learning how to successfully start a conversation with a hypothetical Norwegian woman (read: hit on a Norwegian woman), so that’s useful. I read more Cookoo’s nest (feels like a riot is about to ensue). I got done with work early and headed down to Palm Beach for some retail therepy, which I’m counting as a way of continuing to express myself. Now I’m eating some gf pizza (this is rice dough?!), then I’m going out for a little bit. Tomorrow I start the day off with an early hot yoga class, then I head over to Englewood to visit my uncle, aunt and 2 amazing cousins.
Englewood always up to no good!