Tag Archives: controlling

Pushing Boundaries

For the next couple weeks I’m going to do the project I’m dreading: Pushing boundaries. For the next couple weeks I’ll try something new everyday, get out of my routine, eat fish (catch a fish?)… there’s even some talk about letting Logan (who called a brown towel grey last night) pick out an outfit for me, but there’s strong odds on me cheating with that.

I asked a sampling of my friends and family to tell me some behaviors and adjectives that describe me, with the idea that you can’t get out of your shell, until you know what your shell is. I became incredibly embarrassed when people started sending me all these nice things. I didn’t mean it to be a mass call out for compliments, but I am VERY appreciative these people think as highly of me as I do of them.

Here’s some things I got multiple times: unique, emotional/excitable, easy-going, needs a routine (hmmm…), and creative. The rest basically paints a picture of someone who worry’s about things in the future, is socially driven, is ambitious (this was a sort of surprise), independent/doesn’t like asking for help, stubborn, and someone who wears her heart and her personality on her sleeve. So personality wise for this project I will be more in-the-moment; I’ll think more logically; ambitious wise maybe I’ll make more room to just be (I guess that’s being in-the-moment); ask more questions; and be more open to new experiences. Let’s start with visiting Juan’s sister in Miami this weekend, shall we? I’m pretty sure his sister is my exact opposite. More to come.

These are a sampling of things I’ve put into my “don’t like” category that I will re-evaluate: angry music, small talk with strangers, not having a plan (or worse, deviating from the plan), Pepsi products, messy kitchens, waking up early, driving, and being stuck in a cubicle alone all day (hey, I do those last 3 anyway). Also, I have an acute fear of heights, most especially when going  up to them (planes, elevators….ESPECIALLY elevators). This will be fun next week as we are all signed up to go on an air-balloon ride in Orlando. Also more to come.

This project wont work unless I’m uncomfortable on a regular basis.

Carried over from other projects:

  • Stay within my budget
  • Gluten-free diet.
  • More fresh veggies and fruits.
  • More hobbies and activities, less TV.
  • Avoid things that insult my soul (on hold)
  • Keep a gratitude journal
  • Maintain a positive attitude
  • Be more charitable and generous
  • Make my friends/family know they’re important to me
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Less Controlling, More Selfless

The major element of stress in my life is the dichotomy between finding joy in planning things in my life meticulously, and the realization I can not control people to create my ideal scenarios. Since realizing this character flaw, I have spent years creating some tactics to manage events I’m looking forward to (and tend to over-hype in my head until no one can live up): I plan things like my outfit, because it’s something I can control; I act like the event is no big deal and don’t allow myself to think about it (but then I don’t get the high from planning); I try to be casual as I check in with most everyone involved to see what their expectations are so I can predict a plan. But if you’ve ever read the book The Hours–a personal favorite of mine–you know that picking out the perfect flowers doesn’t mean everyone is going to cooperate with your perfect party.

I’ve also been getting this “bad daughter/friend/sister” vibe since I’ve moved down to Florida. I really enjoy seeing the people I love when I come to MN, but there’s also this gross feeling I get when I realize that whenever I come to town I’m asking people to drop what their doing and abide by my schedule. I tell myself that I would do the same when they come to visit me (and I do try), but I visit MN far more frequently than my close friends are able to visit me. I am the type of person who will drop everything if you ask me to, but I’m not quick to realize you need me to.

With this in mind, I want to not be so controlling of situations, and instead be a supportive role in my friends, family and acquaintance’s lives.I’m going to try to be more selfless this next couple weeks. Here’s the plan:

  • This blog aside, using the word “I” less, and using the word “you” more.
  • Be supportive of other people. Most especially at my friend Angie’s wedding next weekend, but also by doing small things like asking if people need help around the office, giving blood, opening doors, etc.
  • Remembering that everyone is doing their best, and they’re not doing it “wrong” if it differs from how I would do it. This includes not judging Logan on his unique schedule of work and play.
  • Acknowledge others. This includes giving thanks to people who deserve appreciation, and asking what people think more (without rushing to tell my story or opinion).
  • Go with the group. I wont try to control what plan the people around me want to do.

Carried over from other projects:

  • Gluten-free diet.
  • More fresh veggies and fruits.
  • More hobbies and activities, less TV.
  • Avoid things that insult my soul
  • Keep a gratitude journal
  • Maintain a positive attitude